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Approaching a Dominatrix – Wise Words

I am often baffled by the way some “submissives”/”slaves” approach a Dominatrix. In my position as Mistress Nikky‘s own slave I often see some of them, but not only here also just following people on Twitter you become aware of how some people really have no idea.

I know lots of them are really just guys looking for a quick few words to help them with their immediate satisfaction goals, these are not the ones I am talking about.  It’s those who actually want to serve but fail completely at their approach… I have a few different types of guys:

Those who say nothing:
I find it incredible that your first message to a Domme would just be “Hey”.  Do they think that the Domme is just sitting around waiting for someone to chat to?  That message gives no indication of whether or not you’ll be worth their time, so why would they respond to that?

Those who think they do it for fun:
I’m not saying Dominatrixes don’t enjoy their jobs, but at the end of the day this is how a CgfaOGiXEAERu8kProfessional Domme makes a living.  Take the message to the right, he bought (a fairly expensive gift, and was hoping that this could be offset against a session.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure a Domme loves any gift you buy her, but something from her wishlist isn’t going to pay her bills!

At least this person bought a gift, there are others that think just because they have a fetish that is something a Domme really enjoys then they’ll be happy to partake in either a long discussion about it or even assist them more than that… seriously do people think that this is going to help the Domme pay her rent?

Those who are ridiculously demanding:
From my experience Dommes are really busy people, they have to have multiple ways to turn their profession into a good income therefore they often have to plan when they will be doing sessions versus when they might be spending time on cam/phone and then also when they might respond to requests from subs, when they film content and when actually they actual have a life of their own.  It’s because of the last bit that most will have recommended times to call their number or preferential ways in which to contact them to arrange what you desire.  So many however seem to get frustrated when a Domme isn’t immediately available – how would you like it if she answered a call in the middle of your session?

I recommend that before you approach a Domme for the first time you read this wonderfully sarcastic post by Mistress Michelle Lacy, it will help you appreciate the interaction from their point of view.

Some tips from me are:

  • Read everything about them before contact (likely they’ll have a website, my wonderful Mistress’s site is here:
  • If they mention how is best to contact them use that as a first step.
  • Introduce yourself but not excessively and let them know what you are looking for from your interaction.
  • Make sure there is plenty of time – don’t call them asking for a session in an hour!
  • If you’ve arranged a session make sure you have told them what you want from it, they aren’t a mind reader!
  • If they ask for a deposit pay the deposit.  No Professional Dominatrix is going to risk their reputation by just taking a persons deposit without then providing a service, however Dommes are stood-up a lot!
  • If a Domme says she doesn’t do something, then she doesn’t do it, you wont change her mind mid session just because you think you’re the one to change them.

On a similar note I’ve had some people tell me I’m lucky to be owned by Mistress Nikky.  Yes I do feel really lucky, however I don’t think it was down to luck, I work hard for her and try and make myself useful to her, not because she asks me to but because I want to!

I think I’ve made approaching a Domme really daunting here, but to be honest it should be.  This is a woman you’re hoping to serve, you should be cautious about what you are saying in your message as they reflect you and that first interaction is going to form a first impression, you want to start off on the right foot!


  • B Noir

    Good article may i share a link to this post on my blog…? Please?
    The Mistress Noir

    April 13, 2019

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